To my Son

Dear Jonah, you are 4 (Happy Birthday) and strangly enough I look at you as you are still my little baby.  I am so in love with you and your spirit to live life.  You are so funny and whitty. The hard times seem to be a thing of the past though at times, I feel like we are never going to reach the top of this mountain we climb, I feel comfort looking down and seeing how far we have made it in these four years.  I know that the road ahead has no road signs, no map, no directions but I also know that you are strong, and as your mama I too will be strong.

On your 4 year old "well child check" the ped found it concerning that you have had no growth in height since last November. She has ordered many tests and has set up an appointment with yet another specialist.  I can't lie, I have not been worried about your health in  some months but this keeps sneaking into my mind and im finding myself becoming more of that crazy mama of the past.

I have hope. As a family we have hope.  We know that there is a plan for your life and that you will be someone amazing.  Im grateful that I am your mother that I am the one you cry for and I am the one to wipe those tears away. I love you son. I hope that this year will surprise us all and you will have a hospital free year. Happy Happy Birthday!