grabbing for straws

Last Sunday as I was getting ready to leave for church my mom called. My Grandma (who is my only relative here in Utah) was rushed to the ER. I went up to the hospital as soon as I could arrange child care for the 2 kids, as Isaac was at work. (Thank you Beth!) It was a long day filled with tests and blood draws. She suffered a mini stroke aka TIA. Right before my eyes my 81 year old grandma was growing as inpatient as a nine year old boy. When she was admitted I started to fill out her paper work, as I was asking some of the questions, I noticed she was getting more and more confused. Although she is 81, she is a very intelligent woman with a medical background. I did not expect this kind of confusion and memory loss. I was very upset by the whole idea that my grandma might not be the same. She was discharged 2 days later. Her memory is still hazy and the expected time the Dr's gave for it to return has passed. I am scared and have been at her house every day this week to take care of things. Tomorrow my aunt Lisa is flying out for a week to help . It is hard. I feel like there are not enough hours in the day to take care of all these people who I love. I feel like I keep giving and giving but it just doesn't matter. Life moves faster then I can.
Morgan has an infection in her big toe and fights me to not have to take her medicine. When I finally get it in her mouth she drools it out. As my Patience was running thin I finally threatened an early bed time, she gladly excepted my offer. Jonahs asthma is growing out of control, and he is once again back on oxygen. I have become desperate. On Monday I will take him to master Lu for some acupuncture. Keep sending blessings they are more then welcomed here!