I wanna talk about Me, wanna talk about I...

I have lost 17 lbs! I am so proud of myself. At times I feel like I am undefeatable...then I walk into Target and see the aisle & aisles of Easter candy. Oh how I love me some Easter candy! I broke down... Temptation stole my soul. 3 long weeks with hardly any sugar, and I chose today to have my chocolate melt down. However I did enjoy it, with minimum guilt, and I will try to stay out of those kinds of stores and stick to my, SF Farmers Market and Whole Foods, where I am rarely tempted to indulge into carob, or sesame crisps. Okay, just had to get that off my chest...and now off my hips!

I hope you are all doing well. I have been doing some deep soul searching. I have had a lot of down time while dealing with Jonah's newest illness (seems like it will never end) but I have been thinking a lot about what is important. As you know I have been going back to school. I decided to go back to school because I wanted to be a child life specialist. It kind of runs parallel to my back ground in early childhood development. But... I have changed my mind. I have decided that I would be really good at helping parents. I want to be able to help other parents who might be going through the same kinds of things that Isaac and I went through, and felt alone. The Dr's and the social worker just didn't get it. It's only through this blogging world that I have met some of the finest most inspirational people. Some who are fighting the same disease that Jonah struggles with, and many parents who are fighting just as hard as I am to keep their babies from going down hill. No one has the same exact thing as the other, but we all bring something to the table.

Through this 2 year journey with Jonah, I sure have come a long way. I have to laugh. I was so new at it all, I was in so much denial that this was really happening to my boy. I would depend on wishful thinking (OK, I still do) I would have so much faith that the doctors would heal Jonah, that this was all just a little virus that he would soon wake up from.I just didn't get it.

Well, now I get it! And I want to be there for newbies. I have done so much research on where to go for this service and that service. I'm not sure why these programs are not better advertised. It's sad when I know more about them then the Dr's or therapists. Luckily I have been able to rub elbows with some of the best out here in utah, thanks to my late friend Diana. I think she was gearing me up for this task before she passed away last May. Even while being traked, she would mouth a conversation about all of this therapy and special needs places and yaa yada yada. She was dying, and was still trying to teach me. In all honesty I didn't understand why this was so important to her. I wasn't there yet. I just wanted to spend the last days of her life sharing memories. Now I am there, and I see the importance of it all. I see why she worked so hard for parents like me, parents who never met the "behind the scenes" people.

A month ago I got a letter in the mail from one of our peeps up at the Children with special health care needs building, asking for me to write a letter to our state in hopes to save these programs. If you live in Utah I encourage you too to write a letter. These programs are so important to our children. Could you imagine where your child would be with out early intervention or DDI? I Can't even tell you how much of a blessing Jonah's walker and feeding chair have been to us. So... If you have a minute please write to the state of Utah. I will post the link asap.