48 hrs in California, but a life lesson in time

When the plane finally hit ground in San Jose Ca, everything was ok. I could breath. We made it. I would not have to worry about Jonah on a plane for another 48 hrs. And we sure enjoyed those 48 hours. I didn't even realize all that we had done until sharing our trip and details with my brother. It was great fun, and always wonderful to see my Mom and her husband, Isaac's dad and my wonderful grandparents. Oh, and my friends!



I took the kids to the beach one morning and we were able to watch the sun rise and walk along the beach with ankles in the water. It was like a dejavu. Something I use to do with my mom, brother and sisters. My mom use to wake us up to hit the beach for an early swim in the ocean. (I'm talking like 6:00 am...Ok It might have been around 8am) Yes it was cold, but so much fun!

I took Morgan and Jonah to a beach, Isaac and I use to go to a lot while we were dating. It was a breath of fresh air to climb down the rocks and have nothing before me but the beautiful ocean and my feet sinking into the sand. To my left there was a life guard tower. As teenagers Isaac and I would hang out at this tower a lot! haha, such fun times a time in my life when I was just really starting to understand life, relationships, dreams, love and yet was so naive to what the future held. At that moment I wished Isaac was at that beach with me, holding my hand, making up dreams of what our future would hold for us. I look back and laugh, we sure had no idea what was in store. I don't recall ever talking about how we would handle a special needs child or the divide it would put between us.



Maybe it was for the best, for us to not have this planned out.

We have become so much more by taking it in day by day, at our own pace. We have become a stronger team. I have become a better wife and he a better husband. I am learning that this is not something I will ever be able to do on my own and I am grateful for the breaks and down time that he gives me. I guess I need to start learning how to use that time more wisely so that I can be all that I can for Mo and Jo. I am realizing so much from one 48 hr trip, this little Va-Ca was what I needed, though it didn't clear my head like I had hoped, it helped me realize I can no longer do all that I used to be able to do, I can no longer handle the amount of stress I once was able to juggle. all in all this is not a bad thing, I just need to get familiar with the word "no". I need to stop putting myself out there when I know it will just be to much for me.