Breaking

 I hate the feeling of feeling helpless.  I hate everything that comes with having a sick child.  I am desperate for answers!  I want answers as to why he is on the spectrum, why his lungs are so shitty, why he has these new sets of problems that don't even fit in to the lung disease!  How can one child have so many BIZARRE problems?  Let's face it, there is nothing normal with any of these illnesses!  I want him to be normal. I want a "normal" life.  I am far from settling that this is it, and this is how it's gonna be.  Why am I the only one who isn't settling?  Why?

Obviously the urology appointment didn't go well.  Just another hours of waisted time.  However the new doctor did say that if I get him the phone numbers he would call. I told him that j was being admitted Friday and that I would like him to be started on the Viagra same day as emition so he can have it in his body, as it will take 3-4 days to start working. (the med will be covered while inside the hospital)

Jonah is a nightmare to be around, unless he is sleeping.  The combination of being on steroids for the last month and terrible 2's (or 3's) has made him mental.  he is being so mean, hitting, spitting, yelling, I could go on but I'm already upset enough about the morning, no need to depress myself with the way my child is acting.
Time to get to work calling the crack head people who decide my child's fate.