Today I woke up a little uneasy. I'm stressed. My face is even breaking out. I should have just allowed my self to cry it all out last night as I was home alone (Isaac and Morgan being in Disneyland and J up at the hospital). Instead I climbed into bed, and tried not to let my mind wonder into deep thoughts about my Jonah and what is going on with him. Jonah had a rough start to the night, starting with me laying practically on top of him holding him down so he would not cause harm to his body, nor to me.
Today I let it out. Embarrassing. Of course I did it as soon as I saw a familiar face. Jonah's teacher.
Jonah is having some concerning behavioral issues. I have been chalking it up to lot's of steroids, terrible 3's and any other excuse I can drum up to except the behavior. Since we have been in the hospital it has all been amplified. Amplified to the point that he now has a HUGE, and I mean huge open your mouth as wide as you can bite mark on his arm, not to mention the scratches on his legs, and the other bite marks on his body. He has also taken to biting his bed, sheets, blankets, and others. I'm so sad for him. He is so frustrated and doesn't know what or how to regulate himself. I had plans to go to a 2 day conference at Jonahs school so there I went. I checked in and sat down, realizing that this was not the session I wanted to attend. I went to go pop in to Jonah's class to talk with his teacher to ask some questions. She is so nice. I couldn't help but fall apart when talking about Jonah. She brought up a very interesting question. Can other kiddos be affected by Jonah's HIB? Oh my gosh. I don't know! Have I become the mom who is exposing other children to my child's illness? Have I become just like the parent I despise for letting their child get mine sick? Not that I knew he had it. But these questions must be answered. Im waiting for the attending to stop by to give me some answers. Jonah is not on any precautions, they are allowing him to go into the play room where other sick kids are, so I'm hoping that it's yet again just another Jonah issue, one that will not harm other kids. I just feel ill about the possibilities because some parents of kids at Jonah's school may opt not to immunize due to their diagnosis, which I fully respect as Jonah is only a partially immunized child him self.
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You know, it kind of pisses me off that you are concerned about Jonah's behavior, and all upset, and the teacher asks you if he has something contagious. I know they need to be cautious, but man, have a freaking heart! I was thinking about Jonah this morning. I still just think the kid has CF. Maybe some other form that doesn't affect the gut. The gunk the kid has, like a CFer, come on!
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