A moment of weakness, that's lasting too long.

I wrote this post for another blog I belong to. I have gone back a few times to reread it.  It was written in  a moment of weakness. Im reposting it on this blog, as this is a journal of my journey with a special needs child.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

      S.O.S

Im a little upset as I tried to hop that last plane to Italy, but due to some malfunctions on the plane they asked me to exit and return to my life in Holland. The flight attendents had no word on when I would be able to catch the next flight out, but she said that I should run for shelter as a storm was rolling in..........



I dont think I have prayed this much in a long while. Im feeling so beaten down by this jouney and I honestly have no one who can relate. Im trying to keep it together but ladies it's so hard. I hate being "strong" and having a smile on my face when inside Im a mess. I have not a clue as to help my child, but I need to get one as he is spiraling out of control.



This morning by 8:00am I was in the ER because he was so upset he started head banging, headbanging so hard that he needed to get his head glued because he had mannaged a gash, smack in the middle of his forhead. We were out of the ER by 9 only to return again hours later as he had another fit and started bleeding out where the doctor had just fixed.


This has been my life for the past 3 weeks. Okay, well no ER but the fits! Holy cow! It is creating chaos in my home and in my brain. I can't imagine what my lil guy is going through. He has become physicaly abusive to all around him and even worse to himself.


I need support. I need ideas of how to handle him. My fear of losing him is happening and I feel the need to hurry. Hurry doing what I'm not sure about. I know he is a unique situation as he has Lung disease, and PDD-NOS. But Im so deperate for something brilliant to be thrown to me.


He currently goes to an ABA based facility to which he thrives in. HOWEVER, as soon as he is home, in public places, well, gee, I guess anywhere then at school, he loses all control. What therapies and such do you know about that have helped other Autistic kiddos? I feel like I have him in everything available in the 801, but maybe he needs more focus in each session or more freequent sessions? Ugh, did I sign up for this? Really?