PICU

I love being a mother. I love the sweet rewards motherhood brings. Nothing comes close to hearing your child whisper "I love you" in your ear. Or having them hold just one of your fingers in their entire hand. I can't imagine my life without those tender moments. I don't want to imagine it...it hurts to much. Jonah was admitted to the children's hospital the last week in January, after I called 911.

His oxygen needs were more then what we were set up for at home. The night was a sleepless one for me as I paced the hallway and took vitals every 45 minutes along with giving Jonah hourly puffs of albuterol and cpt. I knew where this was headed when he fell to the high 70s on 2 lts of oxygen. At 4:54 I called 911. 9 minutes later one ambulance and one fire truck came to our door. I directed them into Jonah's room where he was laying down. The emt started taking his own set of vitals while another emt asked me a number of questions about Jonah. "15 lts, his sats are going up!" the emt who was working on Jonah said. 15 lts. Wow that is a lot of oxygen. Blow by of course but still. They strapped Jonah into his car seat and transported him up to pcmc where we met a few familiar faces. (maybe the only bonus of being a frequent flier, we know a lot of medical personnel) on arrival Jonah was still on a high amount if blow by oxygen but in order for the hospital to get a better idea of where his base line is they removed all supporting oxygen from him and we all watched the monitor as his numbers fell from 100 down to 73. Yeah, I knew what this meant and yes, I found myself swallowing my heart. Jonah was being admitted into the PICU. He spent a long 4 days in there and when he was stable and adavan free (a whole other post in its own) he was moved up to the floor where he would finish out his oxygen ween. Jonah came home a few days later still on oxygen but at a more comfortable number. That was about a month and a half ago and Jonah is still on 24/7 oxygen. His needs have increased from 1/4 to 1/2 ltr. at night he is still on a full ltr. Okay, so I've been avoiding writing this as it is painful, and it was a horrible hospitalization. I'm not ready to share all that went on because frankly I don't want to face the possibilities of Jonah's life. I just wanted to document yet another hospitalization. I did really appreciate my mom taking a flight out here and spending the week with little miss Mo and taking care of us. Also to a few friends who stayed with Jonah so I could have a moment to be away. I have good women in my life. Such great examples of charity and friendship.